hmmm??!!! maddy... is that you??? is this what's happening???

"
.....................
.....................

(ch)that I wanted were things I had before
All that I needed I never needed more
All of my questions are answers to my sins
All of my endings waiting to begin

I know the way but I falter
Can't be afraid of my patience
There's a sacred place Razel keeps safe

Follow me (Follow me)
I've seen so much I'm blind again
Follow me (Follow me)
I feel so bad I'm alive again
Follow me (Follow me) ........

.....................
....................."



Circle- by Slipknot...

It begins like how i feel Maddy's mind is working... The noises and sounds remind me of the mixed up feelings and the confusion that he must have felt(or is still feeling..)
he gave me the song when he was going through the most silliest of instances of love cases that i've ever seen.. BUT.. now i realise that it would'nt have been silly for him... If he were to feel the way he claims to have, that he could relate EXACTLY to what the chorus has to say, I am sorry Maddy cuz I never understood you then...


the music's nice... and all i can sing in this song is the lead which follows the actual lead which is louder.. sigh... PS: both parts are exactly the same with a second delay... :D but it rocks...
the chorus caught my attention... amazing lines... :) wish i were the one who came up with those... :-
random thoughts: I could not write anything in this blog, not even copy->paste the lyrics unless I were listening to the song... ???? puzzled?? me too... :-o
Now the song's ending and I dun wanna kill the feeling by repeating the song... so... tata...

thanks for stopping by :) and if you din get any continuity in the lines above, well, that's the point ;) cya....

The Birthday Cake.....

Life: as my mother defined it once is, "the time between 2 consecutive breaths". There is no saying when one might or not get to breathe again. sigh.

Today morning I got to know that someone I really admired and respected was nomore. The person is not related to me in anyway, but, feels like family. My family. :-/

The title makes no sense to anyone reading this blog right now I guess... But wait...

October 21st, 2005. My Birthday. I got a really sweet gift. :) A Birthday Cake made especially for me. I felt so special and so grateful that at the spur of the moment I made a promise to make The person a cake for birthday. The next year, 2006, my life was screwed up by certain incidents which did not let me make any cake as I promised. The next time I met The person I was questioned as to why I did not make the cake. I apologised, and meant it too. I was so ashamed. I was going to make one this time. Not sure if anyone would believe me, but I needed to get over certain things for the cake to happen. Last year that was impossible, but this year was terribly, and seriously possible. But then, I am the loser in this aspect. I wasn't able to keep up to my promises. Me's not feeling too happy. Certain things that happened past few days plus this feeling, its a terrible mix of emotions and my mind's terribly sad now. Want to be with someone now. But he's far away. There are so many things I need to apologise to him and also want to discuss The person and the Cake issue. But.:-/ Miss you bunny.

I know that there are others who are more close to The person and the family that's related by blood who feel more and are hurt more deeply than anyone else. My emotions are far away on the scale than these people. But for how much I know of The person I feel a lot for the void left in my life too. I do really feel what I say I do. A lot more actually.

One thing I want all of you who read this, always remember, "a thing delayed is a thing denied...". I learnt the hard way, hope you don't make the same mistake. If you need to study now, study. If you need to apologise now, do it right this moment. If you want to tell someone you love them, this is the time. If you want to propose, right now, right now... Even if you want to bake a cake for someone , do it right now. :'( Because there is no knowing what's to happen in any second.

I feel so much, but I don't write too well to express my feelings. Anyone from my dear person's family who realise who this is, please do not feel anger for me having written this with so little clarity and extremely poor writing quality. All I feel is sadness and the emptiness which you do. But yes, of course, my feelings may not be as great as your's. But, I remember one thing, The person thought of me as family too. And please do not get angry for reffering to the concerned as The person. That's because I am not yet sure if its ok to mention the name online.

:'( I needed a lot from this person, a lot means a lot. Friendship, advice, blessings and love which I know I did. :'( I need from someone else in the family too. :'( I might not visit too often, but your presence in my life is really important.

The truth: I shall always miss you.
Love you a lot. :(