and always wonder why

And all our worlds subside

With everything inside

And always wonder why (we carry on)

And always wonder why (we sing this song)

And always wonder why (we carry on)

And always wonder why (now you are gone)

We'll carry on

We'll sing this song

To carry on.

-the pineapple thief - 3000 days

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUJzNuZ_wQ8&playnext=1&list=PL0BCD9F64791D069D

mother

a thing of beauty, a joy forever she said...

mother...

"i want clear skin"

Among other things, this thought crossed my mind when i was trying to look nicer.

nah! wait... that's a lie... :) when i was trying to look 'hotter'... :(

what's the point of clear skin though?

it isn't going to make me a better person someday..it isn't going to fetch me wisdom or experience..

it wouldn't feed a needy, hungry child... it wouldn't help anyone else for any reason....

it cannot bring rains to a broken land, or fill the hour clock with some more sand..

it definitely wouldn't bring back anyone from the dead.. totally wouldn't let me take back what i've said..

it couldn't make a troubled soul smile... couldn't take me down the aisle...

it couldn't accompany a lonely soul... or shed light on a dirty hole...

it wouldn't cover a secret revealed... nor definitely grant me a desirable appeal...

all in all this is what i see... that a clear skin cannot make me feel...

but then again this feeling stirred... it hurt me bad when you looked at her...

oh no :(

heart broken about something... and i wish this time that it is something that cannot be repaired, for it shall keep me sane and make me stronger... i hope and pray with all my might for that...

meh!

Scenic view

A pleasant feel

I dig a grave

In search for thee...

3 weeks

So... i have completed 3 weeks on my own...

not too much accomplished but at least i know what i can and cannot do now...

it isn't easy though... loneliness gets to you...but then again, that's the reason why i did this... to get used to myself.. to be comfortable with myself... it's going good for a bit now... need to figure out certain other domestic requirements as soon as possible...

i get hooked on to one song and let it loop for days...

present favortite: Bouncing off clouds by Tori Amos...

it's been the only song i've heard all day and expect it to stay for tomorrow as well...

reasons why it could be what it is - this whole 'trip'....

• mood the song sets is just right for me
• it reminds me of who i am when i've lost my way
• it reminds me of who i should be
• it lets me 'pause' the environment of my life... the fact that i listen to the same song over and over again, subconsciously makes me feel like i'm stuck in the same 4 minutes 8 seconds as the previous one... this way, i'm moving but not moving forward...

it gives me company... if i'm sad, i listen to a sad song.. if happy then a happy-happy song... else it's just very bleh!!! :(

if i'm sad and i play a happy song, i'd feel the i'm mocking my own feelings.. (>_<)

so right now... i'm bouncing off of clouds...

-----------------------

fav part:

Make it easy

Make this easy

It's not as heavy as it seems

Wrapped in metal

Wrapped in ivy

Paint it in mint ice cream

- TA

-----------------------

try breathing

Sitting here alone

It feels like everything’s so fake

‘love will keep us alive’ she’s singing

LOL!!!!

I’m running from love

I don’t see the point

I have something new now that bugs me

It pricks me at times

But I want it

Then again. I can’t have.

It’s what life is about..

Or maybe if you tried breathing and food!!! (>_<)

‘you were searching for a place to hide’ it seems… haha…

Flyte thoughts... Part 1

I’m riding through the traffic,

And I’m wondering. . .

"What if just because I think it will, that it wont happen?"

"What if… Go sees right through my thoughts and makes sure of an accident just when I feel I’m on a cushion???"

like seriously!!!

is this right or is this wrong

feeling a sense of warmth

surrounds me with a million songs

are we stuck in a storm

while i wait

tingly tingly

sweet and sour

confused but dazed

i am, but i dare!!!

move, it is i make

on the stage

music is playing, it is

you and i on the same page!!!

i'm deflowering on you

i'm excited constantly

shape shift and thought

i can't wait any longer!!!

(>.<)

its a freaky gory place you've gotten yourself into...

now you have to move... the music you must sway to...

Built: Not to be destroyed

i am a meek soul

whose life lives in itself

warm walls but the insides fell cold and empty

selfish desires for love and devotion

what i have isn't enough

what i've been given to give to another

i've kept it inside waiting for a single soul

the only one who doesn't want it

the only one who can't

i am a meek soul

this choice i cannot make

i'd rather give what i have to all

not to one but to many

send to many, in tiny bits like my heart

broken shattered but which is still worthy

for what i have built within me

so strong over the years

cannot be given away to the heavens or the hells

not so easily as a catch of the breath or a slit of the vein

muddled sense of belonging to none yet to everyone

i will share!

I usually don't read a lot. And 'proactively' (a word used 'Oh! So often!!!') I don't look through the papers or surf the net!!

(Hot damn! I don't even glance through the paper-back of a book)

But, reading/learning is everything in this age.

I signed into Twitter for all the wrong reasons. Selfish mostly. However, being on twitter and 'leaking' your thoughts isn't the point.

I know I do not share any news/info that would benefit anyone else (as of now :) ). Instead, what I do is try and follow individuals who could give me a better insight. There's like a million things I would need to read and that I COULD read online. But the ones you get on twitter are screened by someone already. Thanks people :)

So. Kudos to one and all. Will try posting something of relevance soon.

Personal opinion: Follow @jessie_paul and @andybeal. \m/

Best regards,

-Purvika

phew!!!

the need for voices has stopped

mind altering methods gave way

silly reasoning's have flopped

enroute to eternal bliss

rummaging

I sit here and I think

What is it that moves my soul

Is it the music in my heart

Lines connecting through all the dots

The dark night sky with twinkles of hope

The lady that wanders through my thoughts

The care of a woman’s bosom

Or the silvers in the morning bright

Wind in my arms like flying

The breeze and clear green sight

It’s the tiny things that mean the most

Everything I mentioned I would raise a toast

Singing in my heart I heard myself

Being down-the-trodden that did help

‘i' is now an entity, one who is whole

Who always existed but never was told

To be in love with ‘i' was hard to do

But now it isn’t late nor too soon

Reflections

I do not choose to be this way,

It is who ‘i’ is..

I do not choose to twist the stairs,

Of which a part he is…

I do not wish to breathe the air,

If it means a lack to him..

I do not need no light to stare,

If his world goes dim…

I would rather sink below his feet,

Than let him see my face..

For all he needs is love i know,

Not from me but from my grace…